1：

　　One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.

　　Girl: Father, I have sinned.

　　Preacher: What did you do, little girl

　　Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.

　　Preacher: Why What did he do to you

　　Girl: He touched my breast.

　　Preacher: You mean like this (The guy did it.)

　　Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.

　　Preacher: Thats no reason to call him that.

　　Girl: But he also took off my cloth.

　　Preacher: You mean like this (He did it again.)

　　Girl: Yes, thats what he did.

　　Preacher: Thats still no reason to call him that.

　　Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...

　　Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this (And you-know-what)

　　Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, thats what he did...

　　Preacher: My dear girl, thats still no reason to call him a...

　　Girl: But he had AIDS!!

　　Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!

　　2：

　　A: You really like my stupid jokes

　　B: Yes, they just tear me up! You have such a dry sense of humor and you keep such a straight face that it takes minutes for the joke to dawn on me.

　　A: Yes, well such jokes arent funny if the wisecracker laughs. My father was a great jokester. It sometimes took hours for me and my brother to get the joke.

　　A: 你真的喜欢我讲的这些愚蠢的笑话吗

　　B: 是的，它们都快让我肚皮笑破了!你还真能装，板着个脸，我是过了一会儿才领悟你的笑话的。

　　A: 讲俏皮话的人自己先笑了，就没意思了。我爸可会讲笑话了，有的时候我和我哥得花上半天功夫才能明白过来。

　　3：

　　男: This seat empty(这个座位是空的吧)

　　女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。)【我立马走人】

　　男：Havent I seen you some place before(我好像以前在什么地方见过你)

　　女：Yes. Thats why I dont go there anymore.(是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。)【我不想和你有任何交集】

　　男：Will you go out with me this Saturday(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗)

　　女：Sorry. Im having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。这个周末我头疼)【^_^头疼也是可以预约的】

　　男：Can I have your name(我能知道你的名字吗)

　　女：Why Dont you already have one (为什么你不是已经有一个了吗)

　　男：Im a photographer. Ive been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)

　　女：Im a plastic surgeon. Ive been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)【长的真丑】

　　男：I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。)

　　女：Why Are you leaving(是吗你是说你要离开)【你能离开就是对我的仁慈】